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This year marks a full decade since the phrase “ghosting” hit the common lexicon. Back then, the idea that someone could suddenly stop communication with a partner without explanation seemed like the pinnacle of disrespect. How naive we were. In the 10 years since, navigating toward a significant other has only become more perplexing – an frequently fruitless endeavor in embarrassment that is increasingly pigeonholed by social media slang.

Zoomers, a generation who grew up during a social isolation crisis, a masculinity crisis, and a widespread attack on the rights of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a significantly more chaotic terrain than their Gen Y predecessors could ever envision. And so their romantic lexicon has grown more elaborate and more bizarre, with terms like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” straining the limits of your sanity.

What follows is a extensive guide to the words this generation is using to discuss romance, intimacy and the quest of both. To echo one of the recent most popular memes, by the end of this guide you’ll yearn to get back to a bygone era – because where that is, it doesn’t have “ideological catfishing”.

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The Letter A

Authenticity – In the view of gen Z, dating’s gold standard is presenting as your true, unfiltered self. Best wishes with that!

The Letter B

Avian theory – A online phenomenon loosely based on a test developed by couples researchers, in which you mention something minor – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and observe whether your date's reaction is inquisitive or brushed off. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Mysterious girlfriend – Gen Z’s response to the “quirky fantasy girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking The Smiths and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend focuses on her own needs while radiating enigma and independence. (She may yet have baby bangs.)

C

Support test – This signifies choosing someone who helps you unprompted. If you entered a room, they would pull up a seat for you to sit down.

Task-based bonding – A meet-up where two people bond while doing chores, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how broke people in their 20s do low-cost dating in a post-cheap-date world.

Emotional spiral – Having a breakdown when you feel swamped by life. You can spiral over a infatuation or split, spilling all of your (unrequited) emotions.

D

Dink – Dual income no kids. Once a marker of 80s young urban professional excess, it refers to partners who opt out of having children to prioritize their own happiness. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

E

Open communication – The antithesis of playing it cool: utilizing communication, transparency and openness.

F

Indicators

• Danger signals – Personal traits signaling a prospective partner is not right. Such as calling their exes crazy, subpar tipping habits, a fondness for Woody Allen films, a new DJ career …
• Positive signs – These traits confirm your decision to pursue a partner. For instance following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal phone use, owning a bed frame …
• Odd but harmless traits – These typically describe niche, mostly inoffensive quirks. Such as being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still keeping a biro in their wallet, paying the rent in physical money …

Freak matching – When you meet someone who’s just as passionate about documentaries about the WWII or physical media hoarding or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who hates the same stuff or individuals that you do (few things fosters intimacy faster than sharing a nemesis).

The Letter G

Geese – A band your gen Z boyfriend likes.

Ghostlighting – Someone who reappears into your life after a length of silence.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, eager to please and loyal. The rare boyfriend who is liked by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's counterpart.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online community of men so fixated with masturbation that they attempt lengthy sessions, intentionally postponing climax so they can go on as long as possible.

The Letter H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A phenomenon describing many women’s increasing cynicism toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

High-value woman – An stereotype touted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, ever-comforting and contentedly home-oriented, who apparently has no aspirations of her own other than satisfying her man partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to see the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Icks – Random and usually everyday dealbreakers that instantly kill any sense of desire.

“He would if he cared" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else receive an extremely romantic display.

J

Jobs – These have not been this significant in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ultimate partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd prefer partners in sectors they perceive as being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: nurses, educators or counselors.

The Letter K

Locking lips – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has existed for 16m years. But the days of locking lips may be numbered since some gen Z prefer fewer intimate scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen romance authentic.

Light catfishing – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {